The 100 Greatest Headlines Ever Written

call up an image of the reader, all you need to do is pin up a target. Then, starting at the outside, you can label his interests in this order: the world, the United States, his home state, his home town, and we'll lump together in the black center his family and himself....me. Myself. I come first. I am the bull's-eye.

38. HOW TO TAKE OUT STAINS...USE (PRODUCT NAME) AND FOLLOW THESE EASY DIRECTIONS

An example of a good "service" ad --- one which, besides being relevantly tied up with the product, also contains helpful information usable in itself. (Such ads often have considerable longevity because they are cut out and used for future reference.)

39. TODAY...ADD $10,000 TO YOUR ESTATE --- FOR THE PRICE OF A NEW HAT

Who wouldn't want to do that? Doubt as to the promise if offset by the fact that the advertiser is a large and reputable insurance company.

40. DOES YOUR CHILD EVER EMBARRASS YOU?

Direct, challenging, a common circumstance. Brings up a flood or recollections. How can such unpleasant experiences be avoided in the future? Based upon a strong selfish appeal. Parents, are first, individuals; second, parents. The kind of reflection that children cast upon the prestige and self-esteem of their parents is a useful copy angle to remember. (This headline is the negative opposite of No. 4, The Child Who Won the Hearts of All.)

41. IS YOUR HOME PICTURE-POOR?

A rifle-shot question hitting thousands of readers. Illustrated by a photo of an otherwise attractive living room with blank areas on its walls; with X's indicating where pictures would improve the room's appearance.

42. HOW TO GIVE YOUR CHILDREN EXTRA IRON --- THESE 3 DELICIOUS WAYS

It obeys the wise maxim of newspaper reporters: "Start where the reader is." In other words, the public already accepts the fact that children's blood should contain plenty of iron. So the headline goes on from there --- promising "extra" iron and "3 delicious ways" to get it ("delicious" ways; so not the common parent vs. child battle).

43. TO PEOPLE WHO WANT TO WRITE --- BUT CAN'T GET STARTED

Unerringly selects its audience, which is large --- and stymied.

44. THIS ALMOST-MAGICAL LAMP LIGHTS HIGHWAY TURNS BEFORE YOU MAKE THEM

The word "almost" lends believability. Headline promises an automatic no-effort method of relieving an annoying condition or avoiding a dangerous emergency.

45. THE CRIMES WE COMMIT AGAINST OUR STOMACHS

Another "start where the reader is" headline --- because most people already believe they often give their digestive process some pretty rough treatment. This rapport, between the theme of the ad and the common belief of its readers, makes the "we" and "our" practically equal in effectiveness to "you" and "your."

46. THE MAN WITH THE "GRASSHOPPER MIND"

An immediate association with himself leaps to the mind of the reader. He wants to check at once on the personal parallel. What are the symptoms? Starting things one never finishes? Jumping from one thing to another.

"How much am I like him? It's not a good trait. What did he do about it?" This is an example of a negative headline that strikes home more accurately and dramatically than would a positive one.

47. THEY LAUGHED WHEN I SAT DOWN AT THE PIANO --- BUT WHEN I STARTED TO PLAY!

Another one that has entered our language. Sympathy with the underdog. Particularly interesting, structurally, as an example of a headline which "turns the corner" by using a final tag line to make itself positive instead of negative.

Also worth remembering: the before-and-after angle can be effective in many headlines.

48. THROW AWAY YOUR OARS!

Short and positive commands often make good stopper headlines. When Ole Evinrude, the outboard-motor king, ran a small ad with this headline, he took the first step toward building his one-room machine ship into a big business. (A similar headline, Throw Away Your Aerial! was also once responsible for building a business in the radio field.) This type of headline is worth thinking about when the product you are advertising eliminates the need for some, heretofore, necessary piece of equipment, some onerous job, or some sizable item of expense.

49. HOW TO DO WONDERS WITH A LITTLE LAND!

A successful headline which pulled 75 percent better than "Two Acres and Security" and 40 percent better than A Little Land --- a Lot of Living. The reason: "how to" and "do wonders with."

50. WHO ELSE WANTS LIGHTER CAKE --- IN HALF THE MIXING TIME?

Strong appeal. Another good "who else" headline. (No 9, Who Else Wants A Screen Star Figure?)

51. LITTLE LEAKS THAT KEEP MEN POOR

A keyed "retrieving a loss" ad whose checked resultfulness justified frequent repetition.

52. PIERCED BY 301 NAILS....RETAINS FULL AIR PRESSURE

Who wouldn't be interested in reading more about a tire like this?

53. NO MORE BACKBREAKING GARDEN CHORES FOR ME --- YET OURS IS NOW THE SHOW-PLACE OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD!

A good example of a before-and-after headline which makes the turn from negative to positive. Also worth noting: it has an effective element of excitement in it --- a feature of many good headlines, communicating the copywriter's enthusiasm to the printed page.

Don't Worry about a "Negative" Approach...This breather No. 4 is about negative headlines. "Accentuate the positive; eliminate the negative," said a song of some years ago. For years that has also been the popular refrain on the advice often given to copywriters. Discussion about negative headlines has sometimes sparked more fire than enlightenment. Yet our 100 headlines then become positive. So the negative approach must have some good reason for existence. It has. What is it? One of the principal objectives of a headline is to strike as directly as possible right at a situation confronting the reader. Sometimes you can do this with greater accuracy if you use a negative headline which pinpoints the ailment rather than the alleviation of it. (For example, Is YOUR Home Picture-Poor? Have YOU a "Worry Stock" --- Little Leaks That Keep Men Poor.) So when you face that kind of situation don't be afraid to "accentuate the negative." Let's proceed to another great headline which captured a place in our everyday language.

54. OFTEN A BRIDESMAID, NEVER A BRIDE

So poignantly true, so pointed --- and so common.

55. HOW MUCH IS "WORKER TENSION" COSTING YOUR COMPANY?

An ad which was successful in business magazines reaching executives. "I want to know which are the kinds of 'worker tension' specifically. What is 'worker tension' costing other companies in net profits? How much is it costing us? If it is, what can we do about it?"

56. TO MEN WHO WANT TO QUIT WORK SOMEDAY

Selects its readers without wasting a word. (And who can say that the Audience isn't kind of large?)

57. HOW TO PLAN YOUR HOUSE TO SUIT YOURSELF

This pulled almost 20% better than How to Avoid These Mistakes in Planning Your Home. Apparently, people expect the architect to avoid the mistakes --- but feel that they themselves know better than anyone else what will best suit their particular needs and preferences.

58. BUY NO DESK --- UNTIL YOU'VE SEEN THIS SENSATION OF THE BUSINESS SHOW

Strong "stopper" type of "command" headline, adaptable for many uses. Copy quickly follows with "until you have checked as to whether it has this feature, and this one, and this..."

59. CALL BACK THESE GREAT MOMENTS AT THE OPERA

Sometimes it's a good idea to "start where the reader was." This nostalgic headline was used to sell phonograph records of great operas. The ideas can be used in a positive way: typing up with a desirable remembrance. Or it can be used negatively: contrasting a certain new product advantage with an undesirable remembrance.

60. "I LOST MY BULGES...AND SAVED MONEY, TOO"

World "bulges" is a stopper, not commonly used in advertising lexicon. Double-edged appeal: the promise to end an unwanted condition and to save you money, also.

61. WHY (BRAND NAME) BULBS GIVE MORE LIGHT THIS YEAR

This one illustrates an important point, one which many advertisers hate to swallow. It is usually not a good idea to tell the name of the company (or the brand name) in the headline --- or to make it tell too much of the story. When this is done right in the headline itself, it often gives the whole thing away and does not tempt the reader into the copy. However, as is this case, when the advertiser is a nationally famous company (particularly when it is noted for its enterprise, innovations, improvements, and research), the use of the company, brand name can add news value to the headline --- and help to substantiate the truth of the claim made in it.

62. RIGHT AND WRONG FARMING METHODS --- AND LITTLE POINTERS THAT WILL INCREASE YOUR PROFITS

Exceedingly profitable in farm papers. A combination of negative and positive appeals, worth a lot of "come hither" for farmers.

63. NEW CAKE-IMPROVER GETS YOU COMPLIMENTS GALORE!

There are three things which advertising can tell its readers: (1) what the product is; (2) what it does; and...this headline utilizes the third (and often overlooked) one: (3) In terms of the advertisers, it is this: What other people will say of you, think of you, do for you --- how they will admire you, envy you, imitate you --- because of what my product can accomplish for you. In terms of the prospective customer it is this: Because of what your product can do for me, people may think more of me! This third factor (which is an extension of the No. 2 factor mentioned above) can be made so effective, and is so often neglected that it rates special attention here as Breather No. 5. The proper use of it can make advertising copy make more sales.

Therefore, it is worth a prominent niche in your memory. To keep it there, visualize a somewhat ridiculous picture. (Tying up an absurd pictorial association with a concept you want to remember is, of course, a well-known aid to memory.) The sketch is of a boy sitting on the prow of a PT boat. His mother is sitting in the stern. Between the two the initials "PT" are printed in big letters on the side of this type of small, but very fast, patrol boat used so extensively in World War II in the South Pacific. This mental picture will help you remember the initials "BOY PT MOM." And these are the initials of the phrase, "Because Of You, People Think More Of Me." Headline No. 63 utilizes that factor. It promises the reader that this new cake improver will win her compliments from others; that because of you (the advertiser) other people will think more of her (the reader). You are offering to show her how to make what she might later call her "reputation cake." Sometimes this element in copy is called the "prestige factor," and is considered only as an extension of the "what the product does" type of copy. (In discussing the advertising of ladies' perfumes Hal Stebbins calls it persuasive, so compelling, that it rates at least a subcategory of its own.

64. IMAGINE ME...HOLDING AN AUDIENCE SPELLBOUND FOR 30 MINUTES

A profitable narrative-ad headline. Broad interest in this kind of ability. Narrator's surprise and apparent humility lend credence and humanness to the statement.

65. THIS IS MARIE ANTOINETTE --- RIDING TO HER DEATH

An often-repeated ad for a set of books. It pulled eight times as many responses in 1/4-page size as were ever received from a double-spread. This is the only straight "curiosity" headline included here. Its headline was relevant --- not, as so commonly used, one of those trick devices to force attention when advertising a product not closely related to the headline.

66. DID YOU EVER SEE A "TELEGRAM" FROM YOUR HEART?

A real stopper of a headline, with a great deal of lure in the copy. Top picture shows a cardiogram report printed upon a Western Union telegram form.

67. NOW ANY AUTO REPAIR JOB CAN BE "DUCK SOUP" FOR YOU

What do you know --- the words "duck soup" in an ad? But doesn't it tell the story in a more unusual way than would "easy," "simple," or some such word --- particularly to the type of market to which this ad is aimed?

68. NEW SHAMPOO LEAVES YOUR HAIR SMOOTHER --- EASIER TO MANAGE

A result that all women want is clearly and persuasively stated. Word "leaves" makes it sound effortless.

69. IT'S A SHAME FOR YOU NOT TO MAKE GOOD MONEY --- WHEN THESE MEN DO IT SO EASILY

The colloquial "it's a shame." Sympathetic understanding of the reader: "You are as capable as these other men." (Headline, of course, is supported by photos and good testimonials.)

70. YOU NEVER SAW SUCH LETTERS AS HARRY AND I GOT ABOUT OUR PEARS

Friendly, human, disarmingly ingenuous, refreshingly non-"advertisy" in language. And, of course, the reference to "such letters."

71. THOUSANDS NOW PLAY WHO NEVER THOUGHT THEY COULD

A headline perennially profitable for a large music school. Again, the copy is crammed with testimonials and references substantiating the claim.

72. GREAT NEW DISCOVERY KILLS KITCHEN ODORS QUICK! --- MAKES INDOOR AIR "COUNTRY-FRESH"

The headline of an ad that launched a big business. Faces a common problem head-on; offers and easy and pleasant solution.

73. MAKE THIS 1-MINUTE TEST --- OF AN AMAZING NEW KIND OF SHAVING CREAM

The "make this test" angle has been used in many good headlines. It is widely usable for others. Its purpose is to induce the reader to participate in a demonstration of the product's merits. However, if credible and dramatic, the test can represent a persuasive demonstration whether or not the reader ever actually makes it.

74. ANNOUNCING...THE NEW EDITION OF THE ENCYCLOPEDIA THAT MAKES IT FUN TO LEARN THINGS

The "announcement" type of headline (when bring out a new product) wins attention because people are interested in new things.

Neophobia? --- Americans Don't Suffer From This Ailment! ...Breather No. 6 is here to remind you that in a great many of these headlines you find the word new --- or connotation of it, such as "new kind of," "new discover," "new way to," etc. Americans are partial to the new or novel; they do not suffer from neophobia. To them the mere factor of newness seems to be prima facie evidence of "betterness."

Undeviating affection for the old and tried may be strong in other countries; in ours the desire to try the new is stronger. The great achievements of our inventors and enterprising manufacturers have trained us to believe that if it's new, it's likely to be better. However, the word "new" in a headline should be backed up by copy pointing out the merits of something really new and advantageous, not some transparently trivial difference. And now we come to another familiar headline...

75. AGAIN SHE ORDERS... "A CHICKEN SALAD, PLEASE"

You still hear it quoted. It sold hundreds of thousands of copies of an etiquette book because it capsulated a common and embarrassing situation.

76. FOR THE WOMAN WHO IS OLDER THAN SHE LOOKS

This headline was a stopper to thousands...and more successful than the subtly different "For the Woman Who Looks Younger Than She Is."

77. WHERE YOU CAN GO IN A GOOD USED CAR

The headline of an excellent advertisement which featured what the product does --- rather than what it is. It appeared years ago, before practically everyone owned an automobile. Underneath the headline was a picture of the Indiana Sand Dunes, followed by good copy about the dunes and pointing out that "A good used car brings the whole country to you and yours. Why not buy one? You don't need a lot of money." Finally, after selling the idea, the copy gave some specific details about the cars which were for sale.

78. CHECK THE KIND OF BODY YOU WANT

Check list displayed at top immediately invites reader's participation in specifying "which of these" improvements he would like to make in his physique. Keyed ad repeated frequently by well-known physical culturist.

79. "YOU KILL THAT STORY --- OR I'LL RUN YOU OUT OF THE STATE!"

A true narrative ad run by a nationwide chain of newspapers. Could you flip over the page without wanting to know what happened?

80. HERE'S A QUICK WAY TO BREAK UP A COLD

In simple everyday words, a direct promise to end an undesirable condition --- quickly.

81. THERE'S ANOTHER WOMAN WAITING FOR EVERY MAN --- AND SHE'S TOO SMART TO HAVE "MORNING MOUTH"

Had quite an impact on women readers, this toothpaste ad. Obviously, for there surely is a lot of motivation in its theme: "No woman wants her husband to carry the memory of her morning breath to work with him. The attractive women he meets during the day don't have it."

Stale News to the Advertiser May Be Fresh News to the Reader...And now we come to Breather No. 7. Don't think that because it is our last one it is of least importance. In fact, its value becomes apparent when you realize how many of these headlines employ it. "Get news (or new value) into your headline" is probably the best way to define it. Since you can't pack everything into a headline, stick to your principal appeal --- but give it news value if you can. And remember that what may be stale news to the advertiser may be fresh news to the reader. The advertiser is, of course, thoroughly familiar with his manufacturing methods, the ingredients he uses, the function of his product. They may have no news value for him. They may even be similar to those of his competitors. But that is not true of the readers of his advertisements. Something about the product or the service it renders may be entirely new and sensationally persuasive to the public. And the advertiser who features it first captures its appeal for himself, regardless of the "me too" efforts of competitors who may have, heretofore, failed to capitalize upon it.

82. THIS PEN "BURPS" BEFORE IT DRINKS --- BUT NEVER AFTERWARDS!

Headline expressed in a few words a copy theme credited with pushing one brand of fountain pen up to a leading position.

83. IF YOU WERE GIVEN $200,000 TO SPEND --- ISN'T THIS THE KIND OF (TYPE OF PRODUCT, BUT NOT BRAND NAME) YOU WOULD BUILD?

A "self-incriminating" (and widely applicable) way to have the reader help to specify what he himself would value most in such a product. The copy follows through along these lines: Surely you would put this feature into it. You would be sure that it brought you this advantage, and this, and this...Well, we've done it all for you. As you can see, this product was really created for you!

84. "LAST FRIDAY...WAS I SCARED!---MY BOSS ALMOST FIRED ME!"

A human narrative people wanted to read because it did --- or could --- "happen to me."

85. 76 REASONS WHY IT WOULD HAVE PAID YOU TO ANSWER OUR AD A FEW MONTHS AGO

An interesting example of an ad that backtracks --- pointing out in detail what the reader missed by not buying the product before. A frequently repeated ad used by a well-known news magazine to pull for subscriptions.

86. SUPPOSE THIS HAPPENED ON YOUR WEDDING DAY!

A profitable narrative-ad headline which makes it pretty hard to flip the page. "What was this tragic happening? Could it --- or did it --- happen to me?"

87. DON'T LET ATHLETE'S FOOT "LAY YOU UP"

This pulled three times better than Relieve Foot Itch. It gives the disease a relevant name, points out unwanted effects.

88. ARE THEY BEING PROMOTED RIGHT OVER YOUR HEAD?

Another question aimed at a big target: the legion of frustrated, discouraged people who feel that their ability and conscientiousness are not being amply rewarded by recognition and advancement. (Frequently run by an educational institution which checks the resultfulness of its advertisements.)

89. ARE WE A NATION OF LOWBROWS?

This headline helped to sell inexpensive editions of the classics, by the hundreds of thousands. It starts where the reader is --- because we, as a nation, are not reputed to be greatly addicted to the highbrow type of literature.

Yet this successful campaign showed that Americans know very well the difference between the meritorious and meretricious --- and, if challenged, can prove it with orders. The "we" angle avoids the accusatory "you."

90. A WONDERFUL TWO YEARS' TRIP AT FULL PAY --- BUT ONLY MEN WITH IMAGINATION CAN TAKE IT

This ad about a course for businessmen was repeated again and again, for a period of seven years, in a long list of magazines. It offers a worthwhile reward for reading --- with an intriguing challenge in its second line.

91. WHAT EVERYBODY OUGHT TO KNOW...ABOUT THIS STOCK AND BOND BUSINESS

The headline of a full-page newspaper ad crammed solid with small-size type --- and nary a single picture! It drew 5,000 replies when first published, has since appeared in more than 150 newspapers. Promised helpful information of interest to a large audience. A big investment house ran the ad.

92. MONEY-SAVING BARGAINS FROM AMERICA'S DIAMOND DISCOUNT HOUSE

Of course the "bargain appeal" is a sure-fire --- and this is a good example of straightforward presentation.

93. FORMER BARBER EARNS $8,000 IN 4 MONTHS AS A REAL ESTATE SPECIALIST

Featuring an actual testimonial can make a good headline. In this case, the reader's first reaction is "if a barber can do it maybe I can, too!"

94. FREE BOOK --- TELLS YOU 12 SECRETS OF BETTER LAWN CARE

If you are offering something entirely free (such as a booklet or sample) --- and want requests for it in quantity --- feature it right in your headline.

95. GREATEST GOLD-MINE OF EASY "THINGS-TO-MAKE" EVER CRAMMED INTO ONE BIG BOOK

Perhaps you have a new product (or even an old one) and still lack sufficient accurate data as to which, specifically, are the strongest selling appeals to feature in your advertising. In that case, it is often good strategy to "merchandise" the multi-purpose "coverage" of your product as thoroughly as you can. By doing so, you avoid the risk of laying too much stress upon any specific appeal which may prove weak or ineffectual. And, by exposing many of your product's uses and advantages you, at least, enable your reader to know what they are --- so that he can judge for himself the ones which appeal most to him.

96. $80,000 IN PRIZES! HELP US FIND THE NAME FOR THESE NEW KITCHENS

No review of good headlines could be considered even fairly representative unless it included an example of one featuring a prize contest. Of course, it first boldly displays how much money can be won; secondly, what you have to do to win some of it.

97. NOW! OWN FLORIDA LAND THIS EASY WAY...$10 DOWN AND $10 A MONTH

This one also represents a commonly used headline offer --- easy terms --- and conveys it forcefully and persuasively.

98. TAKE ANY 3 OF THESE KITCHEN APPLIANCES --- FOR ONLY $8.95 (VALUES UP TO $15.45)

The familiar reduced-price offer which we see in so many different and alluring forms.

99. SAVE 20 CENTS ON TWO CANS OF CRANBERRY SAUCE --- LIMITED OFFER

An example of the ever-popular coupon-redemption offer. "Limited offer" to increase response. (Sometimes an actual expiration date is stated, to spur quicker action.)

100. ONE PLACE SETTING FREE FOR EVERY THREE YOU BUY!

So now we've finished running the hundred --- except for this last type of headline: the ubiquitous free offer. The rules specify (as exemplified here) that when something must also be bought, this requirement must be displayed with sufficient prominence. "Free" is, of course, a hackneyed and moss-covered word, but there doesn't seem to be any equally strong, or less blatant, substitute for it.


Note: Portions of this article contain excerpt from "How To Write A Good Advertisement" by Victor Schwab; permission granted by Whilshire Books.